During the preschool years, children often express their needs, feelings, and thoughts through behavior rather than words. This is because young children are still developing the language skills necessary to communicate effectively. According to the Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning (CSEFEL), children may act out or display challenging behaviors when they are unable to express themselves verbally or when their emotional needs are unmet (CSEFEL, n.d.). Behaviors such as tantrums, aggression, or withdrawal are not merely disruptions but are messages that reflect what the child is experiencing internally.
Understanding that behavior is a form of communication allows educators and caregivers to respond with empathy and support rather than punishment. Starr Commonwealth (2024) emphasizes that all behavior has meaning and is influenced by a child’s environment, relationships, and experiences. When a child exhibits difficult behavior, it is essential to look beyond the behavior itself and explore the underlying reasons. This could include unmet sensory needs, feelings of frustration, fear, or a need for connection. By recognizing the “why” behind a child’s actions, adults can better meet their developmental and emotional needs.
In many cases, challenging behaviors are a child’s way of coping with overwhelming situations or communicating something they cannot yet verbalize. The Michigan Alliance for Families (n.d.) notes that children may use behavior to indicate that they are tired, hungry, overstimulated, or experiencing a lack of structure. For children with developmental delays or trauma histories, behavior becomes an even more vital tool for communication. It is therefore crucial for adults to observe patterns, triggers, and contexts surrounding behaviors to understand what the child might be trying to convey.
Responding to behavior as communication involves using strategies that teach and reinforce appropriate ways to express needs and emotions. CSEFEL suggests using positive behavior support practices, such as modeling calm behavior, offering choices, and teaching emotional vocabulary (CSEFEL, n.d.). These proactive approaches help children feel seen and supported, ultimately reducing challenging behaviors. When caregivers shift their perspective from discipline to understanding, children are more likely to learn how to manage their emotions and build secure relationships.
Ultimately, viewing behavior as communication fosters a more compassionate and developmentally appropriate response to young children. Rather than labeling behaviors as “bad,” adults can approach them as meaningful expressions that guide how we support each child’s growth. As Starr Commonwealth (2024) affirms, when we change our lens to view behavior as a message, we empower both children and adults to engage in deeper connection and learning. This approach builds the foundation for trust, emotional safety, and long-term social-emotional competence.
References:
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Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning (CSEFEL). (n.d.). Understanding and addressing behavior: What is the function of the behavior? https://csefel.vanderbilt.edu/resources/wwb/wwb19.html
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Starr Commonwealth. (2024). Behavior as communication in early childhood. https://starr.org/2024/behavior-as-communication-in-early-childhood/?srsltid=AfmBOornk6t4djM16sk3LGxOq1ZYoBM4oGd5xB9HHcDn4pqXOjKDe3tq
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Michigan Alliance for Families. (n.d.). Behavior is communication. https://www.michiganallianceforfamilies.org/behavior-is-communication/