{"id":127,"date":"2024-07-30T17:07:14","date_gmt":"2024-07-30T17:07:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/pressbooks.ccconline.org\/accinterpersonal\/chapter\/understanding-feelings\/"},"modified":"2026-03-24T20:27:09","modified_gmt":"2026-03-24T20:27:09","slug":"understanding-feelings","status":"web-only","type":"chapter","link":"https:\/\/pressbooks.ccconline.org\/accinterpersonal\/chapter\/understanding-feelings\/","title":{"raw":"3. Understanding Feelings","rendered":"3. Understanding Feelings"},"content":{"raw":"
\r\n

As you have learned, emotions are physiological, behavioral, and\/or communicative reactions to stimuli that are cognitively processed and experienced as emotional. Feelings<\/strong> are experienced differently because they do not generate the same physiological response as emotions do. We experience more feelings in a day than we do emotions. We may feel bored or frustrated, but those feelings don\u2019t last as long, nor do they require that we \u201cmanage\u201d the feeling as we do emotions. People often use the term incorrectly, such as \u201cI feel hungry.\u201d Hunger is not actually a feeling.<\/p>\r\n\r\n

Expressing Feelings<\/h2>\r\n

Expressing feelings can be uncomfortable for those listening. Some people are generally not good at or comfortable with receiving and processing other people\u2019s feelings. Even those with good empathetic listening skills can be positively or negatively affected by others\u2019 emotions. Despite the fact that expressing feelings is more complicated than other forms of expression, sharing is an important part of how we create social bonds and empathize with others, and it can be improved.<\/p>\r\n

Finally, it is important to understand the difference between a feeling and a mood. Moods <\/strong>are low- intensity states, and these can last much longer than an emotion or a feeling. Moods can last for weeks or even months. What makes moods different is that there isn\u2019t necessarily<\/em> a specific trigger like there is for an emotion or a feeling. Can you remember when you said \u201cI\u2019m just in a bad mood.\u201d Sometimes we\u00a0hear the expression \u201cI just woke up on the wrong side of the bed.\u201d There was no stimulus for the bad mood. However, certain personality characteristics, such as neuroticism, can impact moods.<\/p>\r\n\r\n

Evocative Language<\/h3>\r\n

Vivid language captures people\u2019s attention and their imagination by conveying emotions and action. Think of the array of mental images that a poem or a well-told story from a friend can conjure up.<\/p>\r\n

Evocative language can also lead us to have physical reactions. Words like shiver<\/em> and heartbroken<\/em> can lead people to remember previous physical sensations related to the word. As a speaker, there may be times when evoking a positive or negative reaction could be beneficial. Evoking a sense of calm could help you talk a friend through troubling health news. Evoking a sense of agitation and anger could help you motivate an audience to action. When we are conversing with a friend or speaking to an audience, we are primarily engaging others\u2019 visual and auditory senses. Evocative language can help your conversational partner or audience membersfeel, smell, or taste something as well as hear it and see it. Good writers know how to use words effectively and affectively. A well- written story, whether it is a book or screenplay, will contain all the previous elements.<\/p>\r\n

Some words are so evocative that their usage violates the social norms of appropriate conversations. Although we could use such words to intentionally shock people, we can also use euphemisms, or less evocative synonyms for or indirect references to words or ideas that are deemed inappropriate to discuss directly. We have many euphemisms for things like excretory acts, sex, and death.94<\/sup> While euphemisms can be socially useful and creative, they can also lead to misunderstanding and problems in cases where more direct communication is warranted despite social conventions.<\/p>\r\n\r\n

Polarizing Language<\/h3>\r\n

Philosophers of language have long noted our tendency to verbally represent the world in very narrow ways when we feel threatened.95<\/sup> This misrepresents reality and closes off dialogue. Although in our everyday talk we describe things in nuanced and measured ways, quarrels and controversies often narrow our vision, which is reflected in our vocabulary. In order to maintaina civil discourse in which people interact ethically and competently, it has been suggested that we keep an open mind and an open vocabulary.<\/p>\r\n

One feature of communicative incivility is polarizing language, which refers to language that presents people, ideas, or situations as polar opposites. Such language exaggerates differences and overgeneralizes. Things aren\u2019t simply black or white, right or wrong, or good or bad. Being able to only see two values and clearly accepting one and rejecting another doesn\u2019t indicate sophisticated or critical thinking. We don\u2019t have to accept every viewpoint as right and valid, and we can still hold strongly to our own beliefs and defend them without ignoring other possibilities or rejecting or alienating others. A citizen who says, \u201cAll cops are corrupt,\u201d is just as wrong as the cop who says, \u201cAll drug users are scum.\u201d In avoiding polarizing language we keep a more open mind, which may lead us to learn something new. A citizen may have a personal story about a negative encounter with a police officer that could enlighten us on his or her perspective, but the statement also falsely overgeneralizes that experience.<\/p>\r\n

Avoiding polarizing language can help us avoid polarized thinking, and the new information we learn may allow us to better understand and advocate for our position. Clearly, the way you use language both impacts your ability to express your emotions, and also impacts how your messages are received by others.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<\/div>","rendered":"

\n

As you have learned, emotions are physiological, behavioral, and\/or communicative reactions to stimuli that are cognitively processed and experienced as emotional. Feelings<\/strong> are experienced differently because they do not generate the same physiological response as emotions do. We experience more feelings in a day than we do emotions. We may feel bored or frustrated, but those feelings don\u2019t last as long, nor do they require that we \u201cmanage\u201d the feeling as we do emotions. People often use the term incorrectly, such as \u201cI feel hungry.\u201d Hunger is not actually a feeling.<\/p>\n

Expressing Feelings<\/h2>\n

Expressing feelings can be uncomfortable for those listening. Some people are generally not good at or comfortable with receiving and processing other people\u2019s feelings. Even those with good empathetic listening skills can be positively or negatively affected by others\u2019 emotions. Despite the fact that expressing feelings is more complicated than other forms of expression, sharing is an important part of how we create social bonds and empathize with others, and it can be improved.<\/p>\n

Finally, it is important to understand the difference between a feeling and a mood. Moods <\/strong>are low- intensity states, and these can last much longer than an emotion or a feeling. Moods can last for weeks or even months. What makes moods different is that there isn\u2019t necessarily<\/em> a specific trigger like there is for an emotion or a feeling. Can you remember when you said \u201cI\u2019m just in a bad mood.\u201d Sometimes we\u00a0hear the expression \u201cI just woke up on the wrong side of the bed.\u201d There was no stimulus for the bad mood. However, certain personality characteristics, such as neuroticism, can impact moods.<\/p>\n

Evocative Language<\/h3>\n

Vivid language captures people\u2019s attention and their imagination by conveying emotions and action. Think of the array of mental images that a poem or a well-told story from a friend can conjure up.<\/p>\n

Evocative language can also lead us to have physical reactions. Words like shiver<\/em> and heartbroken<\/em> can lead people to remember previous physical sensations related to the word. As a speaker, there may be times when evoking a positive or negative reaction could be beneficial. Evoking a sense of calm could help you talk a friend through troubling health news. Evoking a sense of agitation and anger could help you motivate an audience to action. When we are conversing with a friend or speaking to an audience, we are primarily engaging others\u2019 visual and auditory senses. Evocative language can help your conversational partner or audience membersfeel, smell, or taste something as well as hear it and see it. Good writers know how to use words effectively and affectively. A well- written story, whether it is a book or screenplay, will contain all the previous elements.<\/p>\n

Some words are so evocative that their usage violates the social norms of appropriate conversations. Although we could use such words to intentionally shock people, we can also use euphemisms, or less evocative synonyms for or indirect references to words or ideas that are deemed inappropriate to discuss directly. We have many euphemisms for things like excretory acts, sex, and death.94<\/sup> While euphemisms can be socially useful and creative, they can also lead to misunderstanding and problems in cases where more direct communication is warranted despite social conventions.<\/p>\n

Polarizing Language<\/h3>\n

Philosophers of language have long noted our tendency to verbally represent the world in very narrow ways when we feel threatened.95<\/sup> This misrepresents reality and closes off dialogue. Although in our everyday talk we describe things in nuanced and measured ways, quarrels and controversies often narrow our vision, which is reflected in our vocabulary. In order to maintaina civil discourse in which people interact ethically and competently, it has been suggested that we keep an open mind and an open vocabulary.<\/p>\n

One feature of communicative incivility is polarizing language, which refers to language that presents people, ideas, or situations as polar opposites. Such language exaggerates differences and overgeneralizes. Things aren\u2019t simply black or white, right or wrong, or good or bad. Being able to only see two values and clearly accepting one and rejecting another doesn\u2019t indicate sophisticated or critical thinking. We don\u2019t have to accept every viewpoint as right and valid, and we can still hold strongly to our own beliefs and defend them without ignoring other possibilities or rejecting or alienating others. A citizen who says, \u201cAll cops are corrupt,\u201d is just as wrong as the cop who says, \u201cAll drug users are scum.\u201d In avoiding polarizing language we keep a more open mind, which may lead us to learn something new. A citizen may have a personal story about a negative encounter with a police officer that could enlighten us on his or her perspective, but the statement also falsely overgeneralizes that experience.<\/p>\n

Avoiding polarizing language can help us avoid polarized thinking, and the new information we learn may allow us to better understand and advocate for our position. Clearly, the way you use language both impacts your ability to express your emotions, and also impacts how your messages are received by others.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":32,"menu_order":8,"template":"","meta":{"pb_show_title":"on","pb_short_title":"","pb_subtitle":"","pb_authors":[],"pb_section_license":""},"chapter-type":[48],"contributor":[],"license":[],"class_list":["post-127","chapter","type-chapter","status-web-only","hentry","chapter-type-numberless"],"part":61,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.ccconline.org\/accinterpersonal\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/127","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.ccconline.org\/accinterpersonal\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.ccconline.org\/accinterpersonal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/chapter"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.ccconline.org\/accinterpersonal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/32"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.ccconline.org\/accinterpersonal\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/127\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":352,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.ccconline.org\/accinterpersonal\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/127\/revisions\/352"}],"part":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.ccconline.org\/accinterpersonal\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/parts\/61"}],"metadata":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.ccconline.org\/accinterpersonal\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapters\/127\/metadata\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.ccconline.org\/accinterpersonal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=127"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"chapter-type","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.ccconline.org\/accinterpersonal\/wp-json\/pressbooks\/v2\/chapter-type?post=127"},{"taxonomy":"contributor","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.ccconline.org\/accinterpersonal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/contributor?post=127"},{"taxonomy":"license","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pressbooks.ccconline.org\/accinterpersonal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/license?post=127"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}